Changes..

So this post is not a New Year's resolution..just stuff I need to change soon I guess. What I've noticed is that I've become SUPER LAZY after college. I don't know what happened; I guess I just fell into this comfort zone that's been VERY hard for me to break. I think I just fill up my calendar with shit to do so I don't have to face doing what I NEED to do, but I seriously need to do start working towards them. I’m getting older which is depressing and more and more my responsibilities will just pile on. When I was younger I used to watch my parents with all their worries and responsibilities and I was glad I wasn't in their shoes, but you know what I will be there soon - in the exact same position - paying for mortgage, raising kids blah blah blah.

First off, I need to lose weight, I've gained like 30-40 lbs since HS (and that's overweight for my height!!) - I mean a lot of weight for my health. I mean I'm a healthy person - my cholesterol, sugar, iron, blood pressure are all normal. I never really feel sick - just the once in a while cold/cough. But I need to lose weight so I DON'T END UP having diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, gout, arthritis which ALL run in my family. This was the advice given to me by my doctors - DO WHAT YOU CAN NOW TO AVOID BECOMING UNHEALTHY IN THE FUTURE.

Second, In college, I was determined to go back to school to further my education. Unfortunately, after graduating, I was distracted with working, making my own $ and enjoying all the free time that school took up before. Plus, I didn't really know what to do - get my MBA or get my Master's in something. Being unsure and dreading school loans, I kept procrastinating. And look at me now, regretting all the time I've lost and wishing I could go back. I know it's not too late, but it's still something I need to figure out before I dive head first!

Third, I seriously need to find a new job. I'm just so comfortable at my company that I kept putting if off plus now with the economy and a lot of people being laid off I'm even more scared to start a new job. When a company starts downsizing, it's always the newcomers and highest ranking (highest paid) employees who get the pink slip. It's just time for me to move on and it's hard to say good bye. I'm afraid to start over.

I've always have this regret of things I never did that I wanted to in the past. I feel like time flew by so quickly! "I wish I could go back and change things" is always on my mind. But seriously, if I was given the chance or miraculously I wake up from sleeping and I'm 18 again, would I do things differently? I really don’t know. Maybe it's just the nerves talking...who knows!!

But I'm thankful every day that I’m healthy, everyone I love is healthy and safe and my personal life - husband, family and friends are GREAT!!!! - seriously things could be worse.